When my parents brought us all home from the hospital last week, my father took a panorama of the nursery, with our new little family. We can't remember how to post panoramas on the blog, so you'll have to click here.
(We're a little distorted; you'll have to squint and be understanding.)
My birthday was on Tuesday.
There are certain things I've always thought would be fun to do on my birthday, given its time of year. Like, go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Or have a snow day (this was something I really longed for as a child).
This year my birthday was on Mardi Gras, and it snowed. But I didn't care. Nothing really mattered, actually, because I got an early birthday present:
Born February 13 at 1:51pm.My due date is rapidly approaching, and I have a feeling that it will come and go without Smudge's arrival. He can come any time in February, and today is only the 10th, so I should learn to be patient.
This is newborn Christopher with his hunky grandfather.
Here I am at about 3 days old.
If you are wondering what my shirt says, it says "No Longer Empty."
You may remember that I started these - and knit a mitten and a half - in November and December 2008. I then ran out of yarn, was graciously donated more from Hilary, and finished everything but a thumb in January 2009. And then they sat in my knitting basket, longing for a thumb. The problem was that the afterthought thumb in the pattern was placed too low for my hand. I corrected this in the second mitten, but had already finished the first mitten. It required surgery.
A few weeks ago I pulled it out and cut a spot for my new thumb, attached my yarn and knit. And I finished the thumb within a few days, all on my commute on the subway.
I love them! The inside is super soft, lined with Koigu floats. They're pretty warm too, though not warm enough for the 19 degree temperatures we've had this weekend. Maybe I can wear them next week.
The nursery is slowly coming together. You could say that one side of the room is done. The other 3/4 of the room... well, maybe next weekend.
Christopher's friend Derek came over yesterday and did various handy tasks for us, like install some lights over the changing pad and hang our baby hammock. We've gotten a lot of flak from our families about the hammock, but we remain confident that it will work for us and for Smudge. It's got a really great swaying and bouncing thing going on, and we hear that babies sleep really well in them.
I have so many things to share, but I seem to be rather passive with my camera recently, so until it's photographed in some decent daylight, the blogging will have to wait. In other news, as of today I am 37 weeks pregnant, which means that the baby is ready. He isn't due for 3 more weeks, but really he could come at any time. wow.
Have I mentioned that my midwife is a knitter too?
"Of course she's a knitter!" Christopher told me, " she's a midwife!" This is the same logic that has me convinced that everyone who is pregnant is also a knitter. Which makes no sense.
Anyway, at one of my appointments a few weeks ago, my midwife asked me what I had knit for Smudge. (She doesn't know that he's called Smudge though. She called him "the baby.") The woman ahead of me had just left with her newborn, and the baby had been bundled in hand knits made and sent from its Irish grandmother.
I felt sad that I hadn't made anything very warm for Smudge. Part of me thinks it's silly to make something for a newborn, when he's bound to outgrow it pretty quickly. But there's also something about a hand knit that connotes love and thought for the child, and I would like Smudge to have the warmth that my wool can give him.
(hopefully Smudge will look good in mouse brown)
The mitts aren't quite the same size, but they will keep him warm. 
When Christopher saw these, he asked me why I thought his son would be lacking opposable thumbs.I kind of hate end-of-year summations. In fact, when the New York Times ran their "decade in pictures" feature at the end of December, I skipped it. I just don't like the sentimentality of it. I don't like how those things make me feel, or how they are supposed to make me feel.
Seeing them, and hearing people reflecting on the decade on the radio, did make me think back to my own life in the past decade, however.
In the fall of 1999, I was just finishing my first semester of graduate school. It was a new beginning for me. And now, here at the beginning of 2010, I am expecting my first child, another new beginning.
Some things have stayed the same in the past 10 years: I am still in New York. I still work in theater. I don't feel that much older, and I still take myself and my work as seriously as I did as a grad student.
But some things are different: I have a home as opposed to a perch. I sleep on a mattress with a bed frame and not a loft bed a few feet from the ceiling. I am married. I have a cat (though Dinah has been with me since the spring of 2000, so she only just missed sharing the beginning of the decade with me). I lost some innocence by living through 9/11 and its aftermath, and I lost more when Christopher was attacked last year.
I am curious what the next decade will bring. Of course, the first milestone is very clearly in front of me: motherhood. I know that having a child will change my life irrevocably, but I also hope that I won't be giving up the other things that are important to me, namely my relationship to Christopher and my interest/need to create and work.
I hope you all have a wonderful new decade, and of course a happy new year!
and Christopher and I are happily back in Brooklyn. The older we get the less we seem to like leaving home.
This holiday was no exception. On Thursday, after wading through the last minute shoppers in midtown and waiting an hour for a bus that never came, I erupted into tears when I realized the reserved tickets I'd bought were for us to go from Philadelphia to New York, not the other way around. 4 hours and a train ride later we had arrived and met the newest additions to the Brown household. 
They made it all worth it. 12 weeks old and so happy to curl up on your lap, or shoulder or baby bump!! Dinah would be so mad if we brought them back here, but it sure was tempting...
At the prenatal yoga class that I sometimes go to there is a part of the class where we go around and say something about our pregnancies. It is suggested that we say when we are due, where we are delivering, and if we have any complaints or observations. Yesterday in class my observation was that suddenly I feel very conscious of there being a little person inside me, something I think I've been feeling for a few weeks now.
This might seem like a silly observation, but it's pretty hard to wrap one's head around the fact that there is a baby (a little person!) growing in there, someone who will come out and cry and nurse and grow and become an adult some day. Which is funny, because it happens all the time and everyone you meet was once inside their mother. But it's still pretty hard to comprehend.
After class I chatted with a woman from my birthing class who also happened to be there. We stared at a group of parents and babies in the yoga studio lobby (a reunion of a birthing class that had met there months earlier) and tried to understand that in about 5 months we would also be holding babies that age, and eating snacks at our own birth class reunion. My classmate admitted that she still couldn't match the baby that was coming with the movements in her belly, that the whole thing was still really abstract to her.
It feels fairly presumptuous to say that I know Smudge, but I am very aware of his general position in my belly, and can more or less feel and see his foot when he sticks it into my right side. He's been in this position - head down, butt on one side of my belly button and feet on the other - for about a month. I'm hoping that he stays that way for the next 8 or so weeks until be comes, even though his foot is rather uncomfortable. I find myself massaging it, gently willing him to pull it back in so I'm more comfortable, and he complies. Christopher likes to joke that Smudge isn't even born yet and we already don't get along. And I am just so in awe that there is a foot (two, hopefully, plus some legs and the rest of a baby) inside me.
Now that Christopher has finished his semester, we feel that Smudge's arrival is imminent. He's not due for another 8 weeks, but we have been warned to be ready for him in 4 weeks. And that's really soon. We still don't have much for him - just clothes, a stroller, a breast pump, a ton of blankets and quilts. At least he'll be fed and warm if he gets here early! In any case, the next few weeks will be about gathering what we still need, and making the apartment ready for a baby. I'm impatient to start, but also anxious about the transition we're about to make. There's no turning back!
So, NYC has this annual Santa pub crawl called Santacon. It's been going on for years, and it's pretty unforgettable if you bump into the Santas on their crawl (imagine getting onto a subway car full of people in Santa outfits). I can only imagine what children think when they see the (often drunk) Santas bumming around town and being rowdy, but as an adult I think it's pretty funny.
I grabbed my camera and went down to the sidewalk. There were Santas everywhere. All genders, all shapes and sizes, in any variation of a Santa outfit imaginable, all walking towards the Brooklyn Museum steps. 
Some of them were handing out candy canes or presents to children. I asked two of them where they were going, and was told, "I have no idea!!!"
It was like Halloween in reverse. (Maybe I'd like Christmas more if it were more like Halloween??)
Do you think that guy on the left is an angel, or a character from Star Wars?
We got back yesterday from a few low key days in Philadelphia, where we visited our families and celebrated the holiday.
Thanksgiving itself was at my parents', and we had a mellow dinner with them and 3 house guest-friends. 
I keep wondering why it was more relaxed than usual. Maybe I was too exhausted to care about entertaining, or cooking? or maybe spending a holiday with people who carry no baggage is easier? I don't know. 
In any case, it was very pleasant and easy. More like a house party than a holiday.
This was originally intended for Father's Day, but I shifted gears (and went on a knitting break during my first trimester) so my dad got the scarf for his birthday instead.
The pattern is the Braided Cable Scarf, by Miriam L. Felton. It's very simple and easy to remember once you do a few repeats. Yarn is Brown Sheep Lamb's Pride worsted in Sable, 2 skeins.
My mother picked up the buttons at a great button store in Philadelphia and I sewed 3 of them on while I was there. Somehow Mom managed to understand the exact color without having a yarn swatch to match. I guess that's the benefit of having a mother who is also an artist.
I've only sewn on 3 buttons on so far, and I'm in no rush to sew on the other ones. True to my midwife's predictions (and she and I actually discussed this in reference to my Coraline, which I was knitting while waiting for my glucose test a few weeks back) my body temperature is going up and I have no wish to button the sweater over my belly. I guess this is the benefit of being in one's third trimester during the cold months!It looks like Smudge will at least have a warm head next winter! I've made two more hats, both in the 6-9 month size. Hats seem to be a perfect project because they are good for using up odd ends of yarn, which I've sworn to do this year. On the other hand, this pledge prevents me from making anything very large (like a sweater or little pants). I think I might also want to get some superwash wool if I were to make pants.
Somehow I've got to find a balance...
First up, another of Woolly Wormhead's Wee Woolly Toppers, this time Tubey.
I used up the rest of my purple Berroco Comfort, which is a bonus. Unfortunately, I also ran out of it. I think it's supposed to be another inch or two high, but it looks to me like it will fit. Anyway, great (and super simple) pattern. Quick too.
Next hat: Erika Knight's Pixie Hat, from her book Knitting for Two. I made one of these last winter for another baby, and thought it was adorable. This one is less amazing, I think because of my yarn choices.
Again, I was using up ends of yarns, this time some light blue Baby Cashmerino and a tiny ball of leftover Luxe Silk from Woodstock Wool Company (great store, if you ever go to Woodstock, NY). This hat was meant to be a gift, but once I realized it would require a bit of care I decided that the recipient wouldn't want it.
I also think it's dull. Maybe some stitching would help? Or a pom pom? I'm a bit flummoxed.
Next up? I don't know. I feel like I have a bunch of projects that need just minor finishing (and that I should do). I also think that maybe Smudge should have a good wool sweater for next winter. Or at least some baby mittens. Or booties. Or something to set him apart from the non-wool clad babies.
Do any of you follow baseball?
Well, the World Series is finally over. I say "finally" because it has been a rough week in the Brown Wall household.
You may remember last year:
That's me and my dad at Game 5 of the World Series. Notice how we are rooting for the Phillies?
Here is Christopher. Notice how he's wearing a Yankees hat?
For those of you who don't follow these important events, this fall the Yankees played the Phillies in the World Series.
After 6 games, guess who won? 
Christopher and I have a very supportive relationship, and all summer we have been rooting for each other's teams. But we both draw the line when it comes to rooting against our own team, which made for some very tense World Series watching in our household. Cheering was banned. Being excited seemed mean, as was making comments about a play. One person's victory meant the other person's defeat. Watching the game in more or less alone and silence was not much fun, and so we were both relieved when the Series was over, even though it meant that my team had lost. At least they put up a good fight.
Yesterday I accompanied Christopher to the Yankees ticker tape parade on Lower Broadway. It started at 11, and we got there around 10:45. Not the best timing, and we ended up with this view: 
That's a big clump of ticker tape (aka shredded recycling) falling from the sky above that girl's shoulder.
It was disappointing, and later Christopher reminded me that it was a "lifelong dream" of his to watch the Yankees celebrate a World Series victory with a ticker tape parade at the Canyon of Heroes. He even had written this into an essay of his, and now he was sad to have not seen a single Yankee at the parade. Oops. Sorry. At least his team won...
Have any of you heard of Improv Everywhere? This NY based group has fun with creating performance (and art) in unusual and unexpected places. I've yet to witness them in person, but here is their latest piece/stunt, which they performed in a Queens supermarket.
I think it's rather brilliant.
I have recently received quite a lot of baby clothes, hand me downs from my sister-in-law and an old friend who both have very little boys. It's been fun to sort through the itty little shirts and socks and imagine Smudge wearing them. What an abstract concept!! It's so hard to imagine that I will actually have a baby that fits into a little sleeper. whew!
I've been trying to find gaps in what I've received, and so far I haven't been methodical enough to figure out what we do have and what we need, but I have decided that we need a newborn winter hat. Even if Smudge wears it for only a day, he will wear it. I'm thinking it might work well for his trip home, and is shocked by his first cold winter temperatures on the way to the car.
After much agony over which pattern to choose, Christopher took things in hand and decided that Smudge needs the whole collection of Wee Woolly Toppers from Woolly Wormhead. I hadn't really imagined spending money for the patterns when there are so many great free patterns, but I think he was right. They are all adorable hats, and I can make them in different sizes, and they also would make great gifts. I also like some of the hats are knit in aran weight yarn, while others are in DK. Lots of variety. Anyway.
I made the Buzzbee with some leftover Berocco Comfort from the blanket I made for my nephew last summer. I love this yarn. Love love love it (even though it's synthetic) It washes so well, and it comes in fabulous colors. I have a lot of it, so Smudge will be getting quite a few garments in Comfort. 
Pattern: Buzzbee, by Woolly Wormhead
Yarn: Berocco Comfort
Needles: #7
Started: October 17
Finished October 18
except my belly. 
I think I can say that I now officially look pregnant. I've been offered seats on the subway now twice, and while fabric shopping yesterday the saleswoman was very excited about my bump. Funny how things like that can affect total strangers.
We also learned this week that Smudge is a boy!
This news was somehow shocking and overwhelming to us, but I think learning that it was a girl might have had the same effect. Becoming parents at all is really rather insane. Why would anyone in their right mind want to do such a thing?
I've been frantically working on a Coraline cardigan, which I started on September 11. I am making the body a little larger to accommodate my belly, and I intend to also add a button band so I can actually close it against the cold. It's knit up from the bottom to the arm pits, then sleeves to armpits and then the whole thing is joined to do a smocking yoke.
I'm just at the point where it should all get joined, and I am waiting for a good moment to sit down and make sure the right stitches go to the right places. I don't trust myself to do that on the subway, where the rest of the sweater has been knit so far. So stay tuned for that, and hopefully some photos too.
Today is a big day for us. Today is our anatomy scan. Or rather, Smudge's anatomy scan. We'll find out whether Smudge's organs are developing correctly, and also possibly learn its gender.
mom and me, circa 1976you might want to check out a photography exhibit that my dad - Will Brown - is part of at the Philadelphia Museum of Art.
You may have noticed that I haven't knit much, or that I haven't really bothered sharing what I've knit recently. (There is both a coat and a sweater that need modeling, but I'm not sure the coat will fit me anymore.)
I really lost my knitting mojo during the first trimester, both because I was tired and also because I was afraid of jinxing the pregnancy. I kept asking Christopher if it was alright that I was queuing baby sweaters, or if it was alright if I cast something on yet. He wasn't really sure why I didn't just knit, but I'm glad that I waited.
In August, when we were in Maine, I cast on for a baby blanket. Much agony was involved in deciding on this blanket, and this yarn. It turns out that we are receiving many baby blankets as gifts and as hand me downs - my mother has a few from when I was a baby, Christopher has his, we've been gifted one already (which I will blog about later) and promised yet another. Plus Christopher's sister is giving us all of their old receiving blankets and what not.
What was missing from this list (though perhaps there's something in my mother's collection) is a wool baby blanket. Smudge is due in February, and I hope to be at least somewhat mobile with the baby, even when it's tiny. We don't own a car, so that means that Smudge will need some bundling, and I think a small wool blanket would be useful.
Which brings me to a pretty impractical yarn choice, one I think that Elizabeth Zimmerman would be proud of. I chose some Icelandic fingering weight yarn that I bought last year at Rhinebeck. It's itchy, it sheds, it's not machine washable.
I told Mary Jane about my crazy wool baby blanket when I was in Maine. She assured me that you can let spit up dry and just pick it off! I like her attitude! (And I appreciate her enabling!)
Even worse, I chose a lace pattern, which will require blocking if it needs to be washed. But I thought the yarn and pattern would work well together, and when I bought the yarn I thought it would be a good wooly blanket. (I had another skein of white, which would have been great in stripes or colorwork, but I became obsessed with this pattern and only one color would work.)
I knit it mostly on the subway, and I was surprised how quickly it went. Last night I cast off, soaked it and blocked it (with Christopher's help). It measures about 27" square, which is a little on the small side, but I think it will be useful.
Pattern: Alpaca Baby Shawl by Marie Grace Smith
Yarn: Tongue River Farm Sock Yarn
Needles: #5, various lengths
The pattern was very easy to memorize, and since it's knit from the center out, there is almost nothing to weave in. I just knit till I was nearly out of yarn, then did a few rows of garter stitch and cast off. The yarn really bloomed and softened when I washed it, which I had hoped for.
I hope that Smudge likes it!
(I can't wait to start something else! There's so much to be made!)
I feel like we have been bracing all summer for this weekend. For most people in this country (and even this city and borough) Labor Day is about the end of summer, BBQs and a day off.
But in this neighborhood, it's about the West Indian Day Parade, which is tomorrow.
The police set up barricades along our street this morning, and by mid-afternoon the vendors had already started arriving. And cooking. And selling their food.
I think the food is the best part of this parade, especially in this take out starved neighborhood. Tomorrow I'll be able to go out and buy roti and curried goat and fried fish and lassi. And it will all be just a few steps from our front door, and completely delicious.
Christopher and I went on a walk this afternoon, knowing that tomorrow we'll be basically trapped indoors. Which is alright. We have a lot of work to do in here. The main issue will be the noise. It's a very loud parade (think flat bed trucks with 12' speakers covering the back, blasting as loud as possible.)
And the fun starts tonight with J'Ouvert, the kick off steel drum dance party down at Grand Army Plaza. That goes from 2am-10am (no, that is not a typo), and those going to the parade (ie the steel drum bands) like to play on their way there, as they walk down our street. At 4am.
We are prepared, and have ear plugs. I hope we can sleep through the night!
I think I need to go shopping.